I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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