Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
