I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I am naked and annoyed.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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