my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
