now i know why i became what i already was.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
