My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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