I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
