Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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