Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
