the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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