When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We have so much sex to catch up on
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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