drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
