a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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