A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
