the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also, beer. Big fan.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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