I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
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he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
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Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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