the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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