he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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