If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
