i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
