Operation Purity has been aborted
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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