You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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