I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
