if i can run in heels then i can drive
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?