Duck Duck Cougar?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though