this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.