hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
