he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
