My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize