Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
