Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
