i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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