I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
