I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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