i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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