idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
