We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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