You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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