These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
