Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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