Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
