Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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