it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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