He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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