we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You pole danced in your parka.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
