Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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