just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
