You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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