): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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