Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My dick has a subreddit
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
