We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
