I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
