TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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