Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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