I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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