Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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