I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
