I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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