There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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