I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
