just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I am naked and annoyed.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i out mim tonsoeep
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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