Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
