It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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