WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
