Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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