I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
