mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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