dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Do vagina's smell?
Actions speak louder than pants.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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