You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
